Catchword has not yet been paid to name a baby, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have the expertise to do it. In fact, almost all of the Catchword team are parents. There are hundreds of websites devoted to baby naming, but we think this is one of the funniest: Baby’s Named a Bad, Bad Thing - A Primer on Parent Cruelty, put together by Diana Goodman. Here Ms. Goodman plucks actual postings from other baby naming sites and comments on them. The title of her site indicates her feelings on this topic.

The United States - unlike Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Japan, and Jordan, among other countries - has no government body that oversees baby names. What this means is that the first-grade teachers of 2010 will begin their day calling roll thusly:

“Mackenzie, Mykenzie, Makynzi, McKayla, McKaty, Mackanzie, Mikayla, Makai, Mekenzie, Michaela, Mikayleigh, Makinzy, and Jennifer.”

(It should go without saying - but apparently doesn’t - that an unusual spelling does not distinguish a name in its most common form, spoken language. All these names were taken from examples at Ms. Goodman’s site.)

Of course we know choosing a new baby’s name is a decision of the heart. But professionally, we can offer a little advice: A baby’s name should meet the same standards as company names and product names - that is, it should be appealing, distinctive, pronounceable, and memorable. Oh, and it should be a name your child can spell before she’s 15.

Tags: baby naming, ugly names
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I know six pregnant women right now – so baby names are a popular topic. They are fielding suggestions from all sorts of different sources (my cousin’s three year old son came up with a brilliant name for his in-utero sister: Avalina Shoppinglist.) The baby-naming conversation always makes me think of my parents’ struggle to decide on a name for my sister.

Twenty-two years ago, when my mom was about eight months pregnant with my sister, my parents threw a party. They had a huge chalkboard in the hallway that had originally hung in an elementary school classroom, and asked the guests to write down some suggestions for my unborn little sister. Had it been left up to the party-goers, she might have been named Chi-Cha, Cayenne, Polyester-Cloroxa, Banana-Rama or Quasar-Pulsar. My sister was born and my parents couldn’t settle on on the right name for two weeks until finally “Baby Girl” was named Tessa. “I could have used a naming expert,” my mom said recently.

Had my parents know about the three golden rules of baby naming (defined by Catchword’s resident baby naming expert, Burt Alper) they might have pursued a slightly different path in naming my sister. In short, Burt suggests keeping the naming candidates to oneself during pregnancy (feedback is generally all negative before birth and all positive afterwards) and narrowing it down to 2-3 names before the birth (but not deciding beforehand). He also warns against naming your baby what you wish you had been named.

The challenges people face in naming their children are not unrelated to those found in coming up with company names and product branding. The name you might pull out of the blue as the most distinctive and beautiful has certainly been thought of. A name that’s too popular won’t let your company, product or child stand apart from the crowd. On the other hand, having a highly unusual name that no one understands (Polyester-Cloroxa?) or that is difficult to pronounce or spell can be equally problematic. So it’s a big decision either way – but the aforementioned naming rules should help, and you can always give your favorite naming experts a call.

Tags: baby naming
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Amazing how popular the topic of baby naming has gotten in the last few months. Here’s the latest entry from the New York Times.

One of my “golden rules of naming” is that parents shouldn’t tell their friends what names they are considering before they name the baby. (You tend to get mostly negative feedback pre-birth and nothing but positive feedback post-birth.) The NYT reporter John Tierney aptly points out that parents considering names like “Ima Hogg” or “Helen Troy” should probably check with a few friends first (maybe even your favorite naming company).

You don’t need a license to have a kid, but maybe you should be forced to get approval for the name you *think* you want to assign to your child. The poor kid named “Favre” certainly would agree (see earlier post).
I say again: leave creative naming to the professionals.

Tags: baby naming
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I was shocked to learn about a Florida couple who named their twin boys Brett and Favre (see article). These folks must not have read my golden rules of baby naming (see earlier blog posts). Naming is not about *you* it is about what (or who) you are naming (in this case, the babies). What may seem like a harmless and funny gag today will probably result in years of therapy for these poor kids.

Grow up people. Name responsibly. Show a little respect for your kids, and remember that they must live with the name you give them for the rest of their lives.

Tags: baby naming
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